What should i do about my issues?

ok so here it all is. I can't talk to people...hot women mostly. I can't even look them in the eye without feeling anxiety. more than that though I feel like i'm not good enough. no matter how much i try to change my outlook i always feel sad and alone. I always feel like i will be sad and alone. self help and pick up books don't help. I just freak out and think things will go bad. I'm insanly paranoid when i get into a relationship and im paranoid about even talking to people. even if i know i'll never see them again i clam up. everything in my head just shuts down. I also feel like my friends would lie to me and betray me. for example, tonight, I asked this girl to chill. but she has a crush on my friend. I invited her over to his place to see what would happen but never got an answer. he texted her just to see what she would say. she texted him back but he says she wasn't coming over. he has to work early and he told me she said she was busy. he knows i have issues and i wonder if she was coming over and he was just sheltering me. to be honest, its not a 'crush' its more like 'I want to tap that ***'. yes it sounds like messing with you people but i'm not. i'm just a terrible person. the point is i have a serious phobia of women. and extreme paranoia about anything involving women. I want to be able to have a decent looking gf (yes i'm shallow but i'm 20. i think i'm allowed to be for a few year) I just don't know what to do I'm miserable. most of all because all of my childhood friends find it so easy to talk to and be friends with women. I never have. Ever. I've been getting more and more shy my whole life. I'm at the point now where i don't want to do anything. I just want to sit inside and hide from the world. I want to be social. to go out and do things. but im so afraid of people and what they think that it tears me to pieces.