Mom problems, please help!?

My first thought is that your Mom has not dealt with your Dad's death. There are 5 "stages" of dealing with the death of a loved one. Here's how they go: Denial (this isn't happening to me); Anger (why is this happening to me?; Bargaining (I promise I'll be a better person if....) ; Depression (I don't care anymore); Acceptance (I am ready to accept what has happened). Your Mom is most likely caught between Anger and Depression. Unfortunately, it's well known that the people we usually hurt the most, are the people that we LOVE the most. Strange, I know. The one thing you can TRY to do is have a sit down, heart to heart with her. It would be better if the two of you could get some counseling together, and possibly go to a grief support group (I have included a website for you to get info). You COULD ask your Mom to find a counselor for YOU to go to - tell her that you need some help dealing with some issues - and possibly the counselor could have your Mom come in to "talk" about you - but ultimately, get her into therapy WITH you. If you don't think that your Mom will listen to you when you talk to her - try writing her a letter. She MAY not even realize WHAT she is doing. You need to let her know how you FEEL. Don't accuse her of anything, don't blame her for anything - say something like, "It really makes me FEEL like you don't care about me. I really FEEL that I need to see a doctor, but I don't know how to make the appointment, or what a good time for you to take me would be. I FEEL like you act one way in front of people, but you act another way with me. I FEEL like you hate me, or that you blame me for Dad dying." You need to let her know how you FEEL about what she is doing. I know you said you went to the school's counselor and she called home to your Mom. Perhaps you can ask her to help YOU - you need some help in finding ways to deal with your Mom's outbursts on you, so that you don't get sick. Counselors can give you tools to work through things like that. In the end, the one thing that you should say is "I really FEEL like you and I could benefit from seeing a counselor together and going to a grief support group. I would really appreciate it if you would try to help me with this so I can feel better.' Good luck and if you need anything - or just someone to talk to - send me a note and I'll be here. Take care.