I need some band/friend help?

So I need to bail out of this band. It's a thrash metal band, but one of the members is too stubborn for it ever to make it anywhere. Problem is, these guys are my friends, and besides that they are around my other good friends constantly. And if I quit this band, the other band members are gonna hate me because this one member is an absolute (another reason for my departure). Like I said, that wouldn't be a problem if they weren't attached to my other friends and the small metal/punk scene we have in this city. The one member who's ruining the band is the founder and leader of the band, so there's no getting him out. They're not going to kick me because we have a relatively big show coming up (I'm not even gonna be able to make that, but I haven't told them yet.) I need help dealing with how to tell these dudes I want out without them hating me (If at all possible). I don't wanna lose access to the scene, which is just beginning to blossom. Help. Please?